Aloha to My Happy Life

Beginning the Chase

2010-04-02T23:44:00.001-07:00

Unfailing love and faithfulness cover sin; evil is avoided by fear of the LORD. Proverbs 16:6 NLT

Well it has been along time since I have blogged just been extremely busy really. I have now changed quite a bit of things, my blog, they way I think, my attitude towards situations and much more. I have to say I love it!!!! I have been doing yoga and then started doing holy yoga and I love how close I get to my maker.

Since I have blogged last Will had gotten laid off after Thanksgiving, but that was a fear that God had put in front of us so we could chase our lion, and chasing we did. He looked for a job up in Oregon at first and he looked and he looked. Then we got this feeling of, well maybe we should try San Diego. So he applied for 3 jobs, and the first job that he applied too, well he landed an interview. We flew down in 2 weeks after the phone call. The day we flew in he had the interview which was a Thursday, Friday we got the call he had gotten the job and then on Monday he started working.

I was in tears of joy. Praying to God thanking him. Right before Will had gotten laid off, I felt that we were not heading down Gods path, there was something we were not doing, or we were somewhere he did not want us. So I had prayed that he would slam the door hard on us, show us some hard love. And he did!

Wow, you know it just baffles me how much our creator loves us, and how he has our lives planned. I have been reading this book called In a Pit on a Snowy Day with a Lion, and it is a fantastic book. I have grown a lot because of that book. It has made me realize that my attitude wasn't really as good as I thought it was towards situations "fear", I was well being a real big baby lol. And needed to face my fears in the face, chase my lion and that is what I "we" are doing. The only thing "one" we need to fear is God! Every moment is an opportunity to chose GOD'S way!

I love my creator with all I am and all I ever will be!!!

"Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life."(Donald Miller) The love of Jesus rescues us from fear - live an adventure today!

This Too Shall Pass

2009-09-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

The past few days I have found myself so angry not necessarily towards God but towards others and the situation, I have found that there was hatred starting to build up and I am not the type of person to feel hatred! So while I was in my car alone I just let it out balled my eyes out asked the lord for forgiveness, and to release all the hatred and anger I started to build up, because I do not want that to eat me up, what is life with hatred and anger, besides loneliness and emptiness! I have had my fair share of that and do not want to go backwards, I rather move forward! My main question I have been asking my Lord is to help me follow the right path, I know that it will have it's major bumps but well worth it. And honestly I feel as if I am/or have been going down the right path I just kind of sort of hit a T turn right or left, and I am not sure what direction he is wanting me to go, and how about he wants me to take it I guess. I do know that with this major speed bump in my life right now my Lord has so much more for me to learn out of this, and so many more people and families I will be helping, if I do what I believe he wants me to do, he will provide much more than what he has been already! I must keep my faith, hope and trust in him if I am to do this, and I will, because right must be done, if I do not do it then who will?! And this is for the well being my kids and many more other families who have been hurt by this individual! I do know that the feeling of hatred and anger shall pass, I no longer feel hatred but love, and I am trying to get over my anger because I know my Lord has plans for me!!

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Unjust......

2009-09-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

I do not understand the polk county judicial system in any way. It does not make any since in any way shape or form. Two weeks ago I filed for a custody/parenting time modification, and I waited two weeks for only the judge to deny it, why? I have no idea there was plenty of proof, proving that Stan is defaulting in every single clause there is, and it is so, so frustrating. I could go on with exactly what he is doing, but the main thing is he talking badly about myself and my fiance to the kids, called my fiance a chink, and yet Judge Horner is so bias and has such poor judgement, that apparently racism isn't a beg deal to him, how is that safe for my kids to spend half there time with a racist, and angry person. To this day he will not talk to me, answer my phone call nor call me back. He is irresponsible, and seems to get away with everything and face no consequnces for his actions. Still has porn magazines lying around his house for my children to see which they did last Wed. I hate this feeling of defeat, of my kids saftey out of my hands. But, I will not give up this battle is not over and I will pray as much as I can for God to give me the strength, courage and wisdom to fight this, and make it right.

I am also going to look into starting a petition to get Horner off the bench due to bad bias judgement, I am not the only one who has dealt with his bad judgement. Look him up online, his status as a judge is 37% an F, an F come polk county residents stop voting for him!!!!!!! Do what is right and not what is convenient stop this man who has bad judgement!

"Great spirits shall always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds"--Einstein

Taking It One Day At A Time

2009-09-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

It seems as if things are going great and then something else happens, I am not here to complain in any way shape or form just kind of vent about the polk county judicial system. It is so frustrating that they are doing things so, so wrongly....if that even makes since. It isn't right that the kids dad can get away with calling my fiance a chink and cussing me out, defaulting his parenting time to everyother weekend and every wednesday, so I go in to get a custody modification change and they tell me the wrong info when I file, and then the judge denies it when it is clear their dad isn't doing anything that he agreed to in the parenting agreement at all. He has not reimbursed us for paying his half of the kids health insurance, still to this day will not communicate with me, and also talks badly about myself and Will to the kids. Grow already sheesh!!

So besides this fact, we are all moved into our new apartment and I love it honestly love, it is just perfect for us! Pics will be up soon! The school is great that the kids will be going to and they are all registered and all, Abby starts on the 9th of Sept, she is soooo excited I cannot believe how much she has grown! Titus has a meet and greet on Thursday the third which is stoked to meet his teacher, and he starts the 14th! Kiah will be heading to headstart once they get off their rumps and process his papers! All three of my babies will be in school. But that will be nice to have mornings to just myself and Alakai! We are now dilated to 2 and my cervix is thinning out, and he has dropped tremendously, so any day now eek, I am so excited to meet him, and so ready!

So really in all we are just taking one day at a time which is a nice feeling, not to worry about the next day coming, we are willing to take what God gives us each every day! Which he has provided for our family in so many ways!

PS I am starting a new blog on blogger just for my photography but I want to switch it up a bit, figure out a name not sure what though, any suggestions?

My Devotional

2009-08-13T00:49:00.000-07:00

"But for now, three things last-
Trust
Hope
Love
And the greatest of these is love
Pursue Love!"
1 Corinthians 13:13

I was flipping through my bible and just scamming some versus and came across this one that struck me, like as if lightning has struck a person. This past year was probably one of the most challenging years I have ever been faced with, and when it all started I found myself very angry, and not just angry with myself but angry with God. Instead of blaming myself, I found myself blaming the Lord. Well being angry got me no where but more miserable then I was before, and I gradually came around, took a long time but it did happen, to where I knew I had to stop being so angry and face this challenge as a lesson that needed to be taught, and I needed to learn. I started to pray again, something I have not done since I was a little girl, and I started to have hope, hope in myself, the Lord, and the situation. And then with hope came trust, I have to say this process took the longest "trusting", not just myself but God, and then not just God, but the person God had placed in my life Will. You know when a person has been lied to and hurt so many times by multiple people, they can go either way, well my way was closing a door or building a wall. A wall that I at the time did not want to be tested. But it was tested and well the wall that I thought was strong, so strong that no one could ever break down, 'failed'! I started to open up to new things and to some old things, I wasn't always so bitter, and I once had Hope, Trust and Love in God, but I seemed to let all the bad things that occurred throughout my life over come all the good, which led me to be lost. I found myself trusting in God again, and then I started to go back to church, I never realized how much I missed it, the structure, the people, and most of all the worshiping. And once I conquered those two things, came love, love in God, my family, my other half and even grew to love the challenge, because if it was not for that challenge I would not be where I am now, not in my faith, not with Will, and not HAPPY! For the fist time in along time I can say I am happy and I love my lord for everything he has done for me, and I trust in him and I have hope!! There is not a challenge the lord will put you through if he knew you could not handle it, now how your attitude is towards it, is up to you, and will determine how handle it!!

Growing Up

2009-08-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken of my daughter on June 13th, 2009, at her kindergarten graduation! I cannot believe how fast time has gone by, my daughet will be in fist grade this year, all day school!! My parents and I took her school shopping and she had the biggest twinkle in her eyes picking out her school clothes and going through all of her school supplies! She has her first loose tooth and is very excited about loosing it, I am so proud to be able to say I am her mother, she truly is a one of a kind little wahine!

I can boast about her all day long but that is not the whole purpose of this blog though. What really has been brought to my attention on how much is truly is growing up, goes to a conversation I had with her a few days back! I have just recently went through a custody battle with my kids dad, who honestly has never been involve in their lives for almost five years, and then all of a sudden something happens and he all of a sudden wants custody of them, after five years of me having full custody!

Long story short we were granted joint custody how that even seems right, after him not just not being involved in their lives but also not paying custody for five years makes no since, but that is not my place to judge that is the lords I know he knows what is best. We switch weeks, I have the kids one week and him the next, with my address being there's primary so they could attend school near me so I know they are making it there on time or at all for the matter.

Well while I was cleaning and her brothers were taking a nap, Abby was in the kitchen coloring and keeping me company when all of a sudden she asks me a question I was not exactly prepared to answer, she asks "Mom why did the judge have to mean make that decision?" My instant reaction was "well Abby what exactly are you talking about?" And then she explained herself, "why did the judge make the choice where we have to go to our dad's one week and then yours the next?" In my head I am thinking is this really happening to me, am I really having this very grow up conversation with my six year old daughter!!!

I thought about it, and I explained to her the best I could, " well Abby it wasn't just the judge's decision. You see your dad and I both wanted to see you and your brother's just as much so us and the judge decided that would be best! Why do you ask for? Do you not like it?" Okay now prepare yourself Neka, let's see what her answer is, her anwser I was not exactly prepared for, " Well mom, when we are with dad he is never really home, and when we are with you we are always with you! You do fun things with us, and help me do my homework! And going back and forth is so tiring, and I do not like it!"

What do you say to six year old when she says something like that, except for ask her, "well what would you like to have happen?" And she replied back, " I want us to be with you most of the time and see my dad on the weekends!" Now that just broke my heart, this is out of my hand until 2010 when I can refile for custody, I know he is messing up, when we semi agreed to joint custody I made sure to put certain clauses in the agreement and so far he has broken every clause but one, but that is just because the kids are not in school yet. What is a mother suppose to do when her six year old daughter comes up to her and tell her pretty much she is not happy with the situaion, and it is truly out of my hand right now!! I cannot believe I had that grown up of a conversation with my six year old. It just tells me they are not as 'Naive' as many adults seem to make them as, they are very smart and very obsertive. I only wish I could make her happy sooner!! My little wahine is growing to fast maybe not her for her, but for me!! I love you my source of delight and I will do everything in my power to make things right again!!!

Sunset Surf

2009-08-03T10:27:00.001-07:00

On the beach of La Jolla which is where I found my new love of photo ops. Nothing like a sunset surf, how amazing the feeling would be. The beach town of La Jolla is one of the most beautiful beaches and town I have ever seen, which is why it is now my new love.

We will be making the big move in 2010 to sunny San Diego (SoCal)! I have never been so excited about moving in my life, of course I was born and raised in Oregon, and never lived outside the state, and it is so rainy and gloomy here most of the time, it is quite depressing. Yes, it is beautiful in many ways, it very green, and has so many tree, the air is very refreshing but the rain and the cold out does it for me.

After visiting San Diego in April, and being able to explore all the marvelous surrounding cities and gradens, I simply fell in love and knew this is the place I want to live and raise my children!!!